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Self Responsibility

Taking Steps…

We are all consistently taking steps. Are these steps in the direction of our goals? All the little steps, all the little habits add up to routines. Do these routines support your goals? Let’s just look at this professionally. What are your professional goals? Me?

Problems and Solutions

Woven throughout the body of Zivorard Slavinski’s work is the influence of Roberto Assagiolo, On a low level of consciousness there are no solutions, and on high levels of consciousness, there are no problems. I’ve been leaning into my contemplation of this principle in the wake

What is a REAL apology?

Here we go again. Public apologies for some egregious behavior. Inevitably it falls short, often woefully short. Apparently, we all still have a ways to go on landing a genuine apology. Everyone has done things that deserved an apology. If you are not among this

How Long Do You Want To Feel Bad?

A client recently shared that she and her husband had a bit of a row.  And, although she now has a plethora of effective tools at her fingertips to clear and release negative feelings, she just wanted to feel bad for a while. So she

Becoming A Better Ally

Our country is built on the heartache and back break of black people. Taking action to be a better ally, discovering and uprooting our own unconscious bias, that’s on us, white people. The taking action part, check out this list for ideas. Pick a couple

The meaning of acceptance when dealing with grief

Anniversaries can sneak up on us, leaving a feeling of loss, a sense of something really not right, sorrow or maybe irritation. My father took his next assignment on March 31, 2013.

For days I’ve been thinking of him, reviewing the long days of his last days, remembering the sound of his laughter which is no longer easy.

Untangling from Cognitive Distortions, Part TWO

Yesterday, I opened the back door to the porch and this guy was RIGHT THERE! With his head in the air. Yikes. I closed the door. QUICKLY.

As I caught my breath, I realized how quickly the thought, “there’s a snake on the porch,” became a story. For those few moments, that story felt REAL!

Untangling from Cognitive Distortions, Part ONE

Many if not most therapists, coaches, spiritual directors would disagree on the value of the narrative in helping our clients.

Cognitive distortions may be the clearest view we can get on just how tangled up in a narrative we can all get. For those who journey with some variant of a mood disorder, these distortions can be debilitating.

Empathy, AAIT & The Imago Dialogue

Those of us in long term relationships with a commitment to do what it takes to learn how to love each other know what a high game that is. There’s a lot that gets in the way of that. For therapists, our relationships are a rich playground for expanding our capacity to accept one another.

The imago dialogue is an intentional, refined approach to communicating. With practice, it can become a sweet effortless entry into real connection.