My friend, Susan Bryant, shared this post on Facebook on February 17, 2018. She wrote it before joining a group, #unitedinlove. This gathering was a counter-protest in the face of a white supremacist presenting at the university where she works. Susan eloquently points to some of the struggles associated with race along with an invitation for deeper reflection.
Empathy has long been recognized as an essential element to providing proper service to our clients. To make sure we are on the same page, let’s start with this basic definition of empathy: the ability to share and understand the feelings of another.
Ahbyasa – consistently taking deliberate steps in the direction of your goals.
We are all consistently taking steps. Are these steps in the direction of our goals? All the little steps, all the little habits add up to routines. Do these routines support your goals?
Let’s just look at this professionally. What are your professional goals?
Last year was my first year going to Isla Mujeres, Mexico. I was invited to join this group of amazing seasoned psychotherapists from around the world. Mary Goulding (one of my teachers) started this group more than 25 years ago. The warmth and care that has gone into keeping this group going is inspiring. And, it took boldness, as several people told me.
It’s not generally easy for us human beings to adopt new habits. One thing that helps is to make them easy. Noticing is a habit made easy by my seventh grade teacher and Dick Olney.
Living in Turkey, it was natural to hear the call to worship several times a day. A teacher at the time invited our class to pause whenever we heard it, be quiet, still our bodies and notice. That stuck. When I moved back to the states, sirens and red lights and now the sound of an airplane overhead invites that same pause –modern mindfulness bells.
Such a good holiday. Leaves, Family, Laughter. Now it’s back to it.
There are some things I want to tie up before the end of the year. One thing is to have clarity on where my 2018 goals fit into my calendar and begin chopping away at any of the ways I might get in my own way. I’m not alone in this, right? Am I the only one who sets a goal to find it slips between my fingers? That experience can become so noxious that we just avoid the whole experience and trundle along with eyes half closed.
After a weekend of rest, reflection and time with family, I’m ready to get back to it — these last few weeks before the holidays always feel like a sweet wind-down to me. This year, celebrating the graduation of the 2017 AAIT Fellowship Training Group and I’m a bit ahead of the curve in planning my next year’s calendar.
Phew! What a ride! For the past ten months, a stalwart group of practitioners has met, studied and diligently practiced Acceptance and Integration Training. Working to learn new skills and shift paradigms from the clunky searching for insight and trying to make behavioral changes to helping clients untangle from the fundamental polarized energetic charge that drives pain and dysfunction, takes time.
In our last session, they dove far past limitations of traditional talk therapy and learned to help clients (AND themselves) untether from the pull of unconscious identities and identifications. It was deeply rewarding to watch the lightbulbs come on as painful tensions fell away. Meet one of this year’s participants, Bobby MacNamara.
There’s one more secret to a flourishing practice. It’s the one I’ve held to for so long, I didn’t even think of when I was writing Secrets to a Flourishing Practice. Sometimes you just don’t see the nose in front of your own face! It didn’t even come to mind until I saw the comment from my friend, Jeff Brunson.