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Real self

The Courage of PRIDE

As we head into PRIDE month, what if we took a beat to recognize the strength and courage it takes to stand in one’s truth of being in the face of oppression and adversity? Deep bows. What if each of us found and cultivated that

Problems and Solutions

Woven throughout the body of Zivorard Slavinski’s work is the influence of Roberto Assagiolo, On a low level of consciousness there are no solutions, and on high levels of consciousness, there are no problems. I’ve been leaning into my contemplation of this principle in the wake

Dwell much?

Ruminating, overthinking, brooding – a rose by any other name is still a rose. This particular bouquet can wreck havoc with its pervasive stench. – Most people who journey with a mood disorder can find themselves in this territory and boy howdy is it prickly

Stuff Gets in the Way

It’s one thing to accept and experience the truth of yourself in the privacy of your solitude ~ NOT interacting with others. It’s a whole different matter when you try to take that same humanity into relationship and bump up against someone’s grumpy mood or your own unmet expectations.

Who are you?

Most of us, most of the time, move through life bound to ideas of who we are and who we think we should be, old wounds and traumas, early decisions and so on. We think this is who we are. But is it?

Collaborating with the Real Self

In the AAIT Immersive Learning Group, we’ve been talking about the role of collaborative agreement in AAIT. A foundational component of AAIT is the commitment to collaborative agreement. I thought I’d share a bit of that discussion with you.

There are two aspects to collaborative agreement. The first is the awareness of with whom we are collaborating; the real self of

Recognizing the Conditioned Self

The conditioned self can be sneaky and oh so self righteous — full of justifications for its existence. We feel it when we are in a suboptimal state of being or triggered. This idea of being triggered is crucial. For when we are triggered, we are reactive, not responsive. Our reactions don’t fully feel within our control and/or are not congruent with our real self.

Who are we serving?

“I’m so much more of who I am and so much less of who I think I should be.” This is the news that greeted me when talking with a client recently. This kind of news lights me up as a therapist. It makes oh so clear how valuable our work is. Do you know how valuable your work is?

Unmasking the False Self

Our conditioned, false self is like a cloak of veils woven from our wounds, limited beliefs and idealized self images. Tethered to traumas and fears, the sorrows and pain of unmet needs and defeated goals, we mistake this limited being for our real self. Our clients do the same thing. One of the easiest ways to begin unmasking this limited self is to address reactivity.

Waking Up

In the late eighties, our daughters were two and four. David and I were in the thick of parenting and finding our footing as young professionals. It was a busy and challenging time.