Skip links

EMBODIMENT – Manage your Sh*t Edition

In the rarest of circumstances in the middle of a pandemic, Amanda left her wife and three children for a week-long business trip. Janice, Amanda’s wife is a front-line health care worker.

When Amanda returned to the chaos and demands of being back home, she was irritable and aggravated by, well, LIFE. Janice had lost her normal sunny and generous disposition. Her face carried the battle marks we’ve come to recognize on the faces of our health care providers.

I am tapped out. I have nothing left. And you come home all tanned and rested then blow up at us because Colin needs help focusing with virtual learning. I need you to MANAGE YOUR SH*T!

That got Amanda’s attention. She stopped slumping in her chair, looked at her wife and said, I get it. You’re right. With a little support and coaching, Amanda found her way to genuine understanding and apology.

This was not the first time we have had a conversation about taking responsibility for and tending to the inner state. The combination of the bruising and creasing on Janice’s cheeks from PPD, the fatigue in her eyes and her spot on language woke Amanda up.

When we don’t manage our sh*t, when we don’t take responsibility for and tend to our own state, it IMPACTS THOSE AROUND US. Yet the urge to blame, shame or otherwise avoid looking in the mirror is so strong.

One thing that makes is easier is the recognition and remembrance that we actually can CHANGE our state. In fact, we are the ONLY ones who can.

Message me, discover how the AAIT Fellowship Training Group can help you help couples create more satisfying relationships and cool the heat of anger.

Leave a comment